Part of me feels
slightly embarrassed about writing this post. Some of my readers may be
wondering why I’m making such an issue of scenarios they experience on a daily
basis. And for this, I apologise.
But motherhood is new to me…I mean I’m not a mum. I only became one last week,
for 9 hours. But this was no ordinary babysitting assignment. I approached it
with complete conviction; going about my every day life with a baby in tow.
Which involved manoeuvring London buses, tubes and trains, meeting friends for
lunch, attempting to do some writing, going for my regular beautician
appointment, getting the shopping done… and all this while having the
responsibility of a 9 month old.
The cutey pie in
question is little Ada who normally resides in the US but was holidaying in
Londinium, home of her birth, for a couple of weeks. I literally jumped at the
opportunity to look after her while Real Mum went to work. I’d never done anything
like it before. I’ve looked after my nieces and nephews at home for a few hours
but that was ages ago and they are no longer
carted around in push chairs.
We arranged to meet
at London Bridge at 8.30am. Ada didn’t suspect a thing as we switched hands on
the buggy and I took over from Real Mummy. First task: getting her up the
escalator. Luckily it was a short one. Going up escalators proved to be fine, but I
didn’t risk going down any.
When we boarded the train I turned Ada
around to face me. I had been warned she would burst into tears and scream
for 10 minutes but she simply looked at me very calmy and luckily, didn’t seem
too traumatised that her mum had literally vanished and morphed into me.
First stop:
Lewisham. It’s a hive of pigeon activity and being in London is was only fair
Ada bonded with the city’s least respected residents.
We didn’t have any bread
to feed them but she seemed interested enough.
One thing I
learn't from my nieces and nephews is toys are unnecessary; household objects
are far more desirable and this pack of cable ties kept Ada intrigued for the
majority of the day. She briefly held an elephant and book, but the cable ties
had greater appeal.
I ticking off my to-do list including getting my eyebrows
tweeked (sorry Real Mum and Dad if I’ve exposed your child to vanity at such a
young age.) As I lay back and got plucked, a gaggle of beauticians watched over
her.
You know how when
you go to public loos they have posters up saying ‘Do you plan your shopping
trips around going to the toilet..this is not normal - you may have bladder
weakness?’ Well those are
aimed at me, not because of bladder weakness, I just need to know where the
nearest loo is at all times. Yet on this occasion I found myself all eyes on
the look out for ‘baby changing’….of which you realise there are far fewer than
you expect. Then I remembered that Lewisham Library has the most spacious baby
changing I’ve ever seen, so I took Ada there for a nappy swap. The room is part
of the children’s library which sits adjacent to people working away on their
laptops so I had to be really conscious of screaming….not that she cried, there were just a few whimpers. After which Ada was set
loose around the library to crawl to her hearts content. It struck me then that
a baby’s life is split into hours. Every hour is a new challenge and that’s how
the rest of our day spanned out. One activity per hour.
Thankfully she wasn't swallowed up by The Gruffalo.
We caught the bus
home. Luckily there were no other buggies to contend with, in time for lunch,
where she unexpectedly drank two bottles of milk and had some pureed veg. After
that, she showed me how to send an email.
 |
| Nap time on the tube |
Normally I munch
my way through breakfast and elevenses but with my all time consumed by
ensuring she was still alive, not a morsel hit my lips until we got to Noodle
King in Bethnal Green at 1.30 where some of my friends were celebrating a
birthday lunch.
Ada chilled with baby Mia while the rest of us feasted on
dumplings and tofu. There wasn’t a peep out of Ada, just a constant huge smile
and frequent cheeky giggles that captivated all the waitresses.
While Mia tucked
into nibbles, Ada calmy drank her milk.
I assumed it was time for a nappy
change and with the Museum of Childhood only a short walk away, I decided to
take her there to 'proper' baby changing facilities, rather than the floor of a
take-away loo.
Underneath the
innocent face (which fooled me as there wasn’t any bad smells) was a huge
poohey mess (probably because I hadn’t put her nappy on properly after her
morning wee.) The leak had spread up her tummy, through her jump suit and her
jeans and as I attempted to undress her, it spread to her back and neck too…oh
dear. Naked baby on my hands and NO CLOTHES to dress her in. She came with a
spare set but I managed to spill an entire bottle of water inside the bag they
were in, so they were soaked through. I spent five minutes in a stunned silence.
Ada looked at me, I looked at her….at least one of us was smiling. It seems
nothing can get this girl down. I eventually got a grip. Put her in a fresh
nappy and wrapped her in my jacket. It was a cold and darkening November
afternoon in an area I didn’t know, but thankfully, after a short walk up the
high street, saviour came in the form of a charity shop. And there in amidst
the abandoned children’s clothing was a bright orange PJ suit, size 6-9 months,
price £1.50.
By now it was rush hour so we headed back to London Bridge where Real
Mummy joined us at the spot we first parted, bemused by her new outfit.
I’m yet to
experience the urge to want children but some how I seemed to cope fine with a baby. Perhaps if she’d had a screaming fit in public things would have been
different, but then again, I did feel like the worst mother in the world taking
her out naked with nothing but my coat.
I’m committed to
trying new things and that’s why I put my hand up and said I’d babysit. I
wanted to experience what life might be like if I did have a baby. All day
I had a strange sensation that I was a mum, and certainly any one who saw me out
and about wouldn’t have thought otherwise. Do 16 year old school girls
still get given fake babies to take home and look after as practise? Because
adult women should be given the chance to do what I did. Real mums say that you
loose your selfishness when you have a child and having an insight into that
was pretty special. So non-mums, (and non-dads) next time an opportunity
arises to babysit, I say embrace it; there’s nothing else like it. And as for
if I would do it again…yes ...only this time I’d show her the Docklands
Light Railway and take her on a Thames Clipper boat trip too, so she could
properly experience getting out and about in the Big Smoke.
