Sometimes It's OK To Do Nothing

Holwell, the quietest place I've ever been

'I can't. I'm busy.' I find myself saying this on a daily basis whether it's true or not. Nine times out of 10 it's true but if I tried I could reschedule, de-prioritise and end up not doing it if I really didn't want to; trouble is I am the kind of person who is always doing something - never nothing. On this blog I only record a 1/4 of what I get up to. I have countless posts piled up waiting to be published but most will never see the light of day - like weekends in Sweden, Malta and France and even a last minute seven day trip to Kenya (though hopefully that one will surface at some point), as well as craft workshops, social events, life experiences, dos and celebrations, even recipes...

There's so many things I do that I then want to write about but these days I can barely keep up with the writing I need to do for my day job, let alone get a chance to write for pleasure. So the idea of doing nothing just doesn't apply, I mean how can I do nothing when I have so much to do?

The only sound I heard other than crow cries was the squeak of this sign in the breeze

This weekend an opportunity struck and I decided to give in and give it a go: Do Nothing. I checked into Middle Piccadilly a Rural Spa Retreat in Dorset where 'doing nothing' is the preferred way of life. There are no distractions (wi-fi or internet - even my 3G was down), no TV, no radio - not even any newspapers to remind you of the stresses of the world.)

Accommodation is in a restored 17th century cottage and food is served fresh, vegetarian and healthy. The only souls you'll speak to are your therapists - massages, wraps, spa treatments are all part of the pampering, nurturing and relaxing experience. Other than turning up to the kitchen at mealtimes or being ready for your spa sessions there is nothing else to do.

There was a choice of a Detox liquid diet, raw food or vegetarian but I went for  a mix of all three

So what does one do when faced with the ultimate in Me Time? Being in the countryside and with two days of gorgeous, bright, crisp, winter weather led me to embark on three walks around what can only be described as the quietest place I have been to in my whole life (admittedly the route was called Peaceful Lane.) Even the wildlife (aka sheep) barely made a sound. I encountered few humans, few dogs and hardly any cars just endless trees, greenery and farmland.

Peaceful Lane is an understatement - it really was the calmest place I've ever walked

The retreat is popular with stressed out female Londoners - it is literally the opposite in every aspect of what goes on in the capital city. Yet faced with such peace and serenity doesn't necessarily make it easy to switch off. Initially I struggled I just wasn't sure how to fill 'nothing'. Many people come here simply to sleep; at first this seemed wrong, but the truth is I rarely get enough sleep.

In an ideal world there wouldn't be a need to escape to the country in desperate need of rest and re-cooperation but the truth is very few of us would put aside a weekend, detach from technology and mod-cons and make 'Me Time' at home.

Ok...I didn't go as far as playing Solitaire but I drink lots of detox teas

Yet here in the middle of no where it makes more sense. I didn't escape modernity completely (I took photos on my phone for a start!) but I did sit down, look at nature, attempt to meditate and take time doing things. Where normally I wash my face really quickly on autopilot I took time to massage my face wash into my skin and instead of gulping down a cuppa while moving between three rooms, packing for working and doing my make-up, I sat down held my tea until it cooled and drunk it until the mug was finished.

There are so few people around that all the sheep were staring at me!

How do I feel after living in slow-mo for two days? I wouldn't say I felt different or like a new person, maybe two days isn't enough for such as transformation but I did realise that it is OK to do nothing and not feel guilty about it. Whether or not I can 'afford' to give myself another weekend off is another matter but I do think that in an ideal world once a moth switching off from life, tech, stress, and just focussing on the moment - eating, breathing, living has health benefits that are priceless.

When you don't need to rush you really do spot the beauty in nature

Whether you check into a retreat like Middle Piccadilly for few days or are able to recreate a similar experience at home: 'doing nothing' is underrated and should be indulged in every now and again by everyone. With the Xmas holidays and new year around the corner, I dare you to give it a go.

I spent two day at Middle Piccadilly, checking in Friday at 4pm and stayed until Sunday 2pm. All meals were included and the retreat is located a 15min taxi ride from Sherbourne station, which is accessible from London Waterloo. Prices vary according to packages, mine was booked through Wellbeing Escapes and included three treatments - two massages and a mud wrap.

(I wrote this blog on the train back - I imagined myself writing in the evenings but my laptop remained in my suitcase! Two hours to kill on the train home however isn't that interesting so I decided to do something!)

A Trip To Salon Du Chocolat's Chocolate Fashion Show

Chocolate...an entire hall filled with the yummy stuff in every shape and form imaginable; naturally I had to be there. Salon Du Chocolat is a travelling international exhibition which pulled into London on Friday for the weekend. I managed to attended the Gala Evening during which time I ate so much free chocolate I entered a cocoa coma...(thankfully it was short-lived).

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The sweet cocoa aroma hit you as soon as you stepped inside the shrine to the brown stuff. All around were stands selling chocolate; most from indie companies I'd never heard of selling varieties I'd never tried. I particularly liked the look of the chocolate conkers above.

This lucky lady got to lie in a bath of melted chocolate; sadly this option wasn't open to the public : (

On closer inspection it reminded me of school dinner chocolate custard. It certainly seemed as gloopy.

The benefit of attending on the Friday night was this was when 'The Chocolate Fashion Show' was scheduled, the one all the press have been raving about for the last few days.

I was very intrigued about why the dresses didn't melt under hot lights but it turned they weren't completely constructed of cocoa.

Watch highlights from the show in this rather fine video by Farrah from Implausible Blog. 

After the catwalk, the individual couture chocolate creations were put on display.

This English rose themed number was the most impressive, though it had more than a few similarities to a wedding cake.

Not entirely sure about the chocolate on this one, but apparently it's a dress made of chocolate hmmm.

And as for this choc bikini, it was clearly made for being nibbled off...

 I had to check out the chocolate outfits for myself to check their authenticity so I grabbed onto the end of this fabulous Lindt fan and I can confirm it was definatly chocolate!

Back in the exhibition space my radar led me to the craftiest chocolate I could find; chocolate scissors. Yes I'm pretty sure my craft stash needs a pair...

Hot chocolate wasn't forgotten either. In fact there were various culinary treats including posher versions of Nutella and to my utter disgust chocolate Foie Gras....seriously. There is no need : (

Here's one to entertain the yoof. Grafitti chocolate, the brand changes the designs on their chocolate every month, which are sprayed on with edible paints.

Speaking of which there were a lot of decorative artisan chocolates. The flavour of the moment however sold on most stands seemed to be Matcha Tea which was mint green in appearance. Quality varied. My two personal faves were by Prestat and Henri Le Roux.

When you see a giant eclair, you have to lie on it right?

Salon Du Chocolat may have now left the UK but they've already planned out the next year of events (most are in Europe) so if you fancy going to a show where you get to taste test loads of varieties of chocolate, the sort you can't find normally, or need to buy some chocolate gifts it's worth a visit.

If you dislike chocolate then steer clear!

Sunday Bath Ritual

Whatever my Sunday consists of; preferably a lie in, listening to my favourite Bollywood radio show, enjoying a roast dinner with friends, rummaging through car boot sales or more often or not, working: the evenings have a theme to them…they always end in a relaxing candlelit bath. The ritual is not new, when I was growing up we didn’t have a shower, we just had a bath tub and to save money we only had baths once a week (bucket and jug wash downs in the week.) I know it sounds like I grew up in the 1940s’ but for some reason my parents waited until I had left for university before they installed luxuries like a shower and washing machine.

 Anyway I have terrifying memories of Sunday nights; home work complete, spelling tests done, uniform laid out and my mum scrubbing at my skin until the dead skin cells peeled off (people pay for this kind of treatment at exotic hammams) and shampoo foaming in my eyes.

  These days the routine is much more civilised. There’s no ironing for a start – I never iron my clothes, but thankfully in 2011 most fabrics don’t need it and I’m not the smart cotton shirt wearing type. I get home from the gym at 7pm, spend a couple of hours getting my flat in order for the week, tidying up, washing up, putting the rubbish and recycling out and preparing dinner so that come 9 o’clock I can leave the stresses and strains of the week behind me and look forward to a clean, new start.

 We’re not talking a quick in and out and towel dry, but a blissful indulgent hour of ‘me time’ with the door tightly locked and no distracting noises or glare of artificial lights.

 And is what I have planned for tonight!

My giant rubber duckie and me will be bathing with a polar bear bath fizzer, the delicious Kenneth Turner candles I recently got, two new 'after-bath' products I’ve been testing recently; Elemis Spa Home Pro-Collagen Body Cream and Celestial Spa Authentic Clarity Cooling Foot Cream and not forgetting my faithful burger bath sponge.

To put it into context I collect burger memorabilia. Here is some of the collection: my hambag, CD case, two portable mirror and a burger bento box.

Yes you read that correctly and here it is in its full glory. It was a present from my brother in law. I knew he was going on a work trip to China (where they are made) so I put in a request but he returned home empty handed claiming that while quirky, kitsch plastic things are made in China you can’t buy them there. Then later in the year whilst working in Costa Rica he found one!

(And to prove the mirrors work, here’s the evidence!)

Any now onto the two newest beauty products I’m the proud owner of. First up, luxury brand Elemis's new Pro-Collagen Body Cream (£49). The only other Elemis products I’ve owned have been travel sized toiletries I’ve swiped from hotel bathrooms and earlier this year I had a lovely foot treatment at the Elemis Day Spa in London so it’s nice to finally have one in my collection and being a complete cream obsessive I’m in a good position to review it!

No one wants wobbly bits but we haven’t all got time to get them toned through exercise and even if we did, a little help is always welcomed. Body firming creams are a much nicer way to de-wobble then getting sweaty (well I think so and I’m a gym bunny but would still much rather swap the hard work it entails for a massage!)

 With it’s silky soufflé texture and magnolia colouring it reminds me of a yummy vanilla dessert, thankfully without the calories. It feels softening from the first application and has anti-ageing properties too so it's extra moisturising and makes your skin look fresher. It has certainly smoothed out my thighs and made the skin tone look more even (I’m convinced I am not imagining this….I apply cream daily so I can spot a change easily!) Because of its price tag (it contains some pretty impressive exotic oils and marine extracts), it’s not one I use too liberally, it’s a definite ‘one of the Sunday bath list’ but if you can’t get along to a real spa the next best thing is to own some products that are spa treatment quality and this is one of them!

Next the Celestial Spa Authentic foot cream (£18.50). Because my Sunday bath takes place post-gym, my feet are generally feeling knackered and this is the perfect remedy. I’m not big on foot lotions, the runniness just doesn’t work with the thick skin on feet, but this is a product that’s very different.

 There are two ranges in the collection, Comfort and Clarity which contain different mineral and gem combinations. The Clarity Cooling Foot Treatment contains Gemstone Malachite, a protective Gem that helps to detoxify and cleanse the skin of impurities.

It has the consistency of clay, a bit like a clay face mask but is extremely soft, melting into the skins with ease. It has a surprise fragrance too, it doesn’t look like it, but it has a citrus aroma that’s uplifting and refreshing thanks to essential oils of Bergamot and Orange Flower, Sicilian Lemon, Sandalwood and Galbanum. I’ve been using the cream for over three weeks now, not just after my Sunday bath but after every trip to the gym, before bed and it’s a real pleasure. After cleaning them my feet feel irritable and dry then once this pampering cream goes on they are the happiest feet in the world! I am not looking forward to it running out!

  My top 10 recommendations for the ultimate Sunday bath

Before I start my preparations for tonight’s regime, here’s some tips to help you get started on yours:

     * Plenty of hot water: If you live in a shared house where hot water runs out, then give it a chance to refill before running the water, there’s nothing more disappointing than dipping your toes in to find it’s cold.

    * Candles: Light these around your bath room and turn out the main light. You’ll instantly feel like you are in a private spa cabin.

    * Music: Ipods loaded with your favourite music plugged into battery operated speakers are ideal.

    * Pampering products: On my Sunday bath I use different beauty products to the ones I use during the week. For general showers I have ordinary face wash and shower gel but when it comes to my Sunday bath I use a more expensive shower cream, take time to rub in a nice body scrub and even use a face mask…it’s what makes the ‘Sunday bath’ more special.

    * Glass of water to hand: When the doors are closed behind you it can sometime get a bit steamy and you don’t actually want to fall asleep so sip on water whilst in the bath to keep you revived.

     * Rubber duckie: No explanation needed, a bath is not the same without a duck swimming past!

    * Bubbles: Whether they are created by the bath foam or you blow them from a bottle, every bath should be full of popping bubbles.

    * No clocks allowed: Never set your alarm or take a watch with you and if you do have a bathroom clock cover it up! As soon as you think about the time you will loose the relaxing vibe and there is no room for stress when you’re bathing.

    * Clean fluffy dressing gown on standby: After a bath the last thing you want to do it put on restricting clothes (especially a bra!) so wrap yourself up in a dressing gown instead just as you would if you were on a spa retreat

    * After-bath goodies: Once you’re dry it’s time to massage in some lovely body cream, lotion or oil to keep your skin moisturised. If you’ve got someone to help you with this stage, even better…but if not, don’t worry. You’ll be feeling fresh, content and happy, ready to contend with whatever next week has to bring.

 Happy bathing!

 Elemis products are available from www.timetospa.co.uk in spas and salons and  selected John Lewis, Debenhams and Harvey Nichols stores.

  To view the full Celestial Spa Authentic brochure of products and treatments go to www.celestialspa.co.uk/brochure or buy them online at http://shop.nirvanaspa.co.uk

How not to get stressed

Number 1: Adopt an attitude like Charlie

Meet Charlie, a monkey who's the same age as me - 30 years. And yet while I'm generally in some sort of state of panic that I should be doing this, need to do that, could be somewhere else, should be earning 'x' and stressing that I ought to be be owning 'y', you'll generally find him, chillaxing, taking deep breaths and enjoying life, worry free. Yes I know he's a monkey but seriously, sometimes I look at him and think why can't I be more like you? I read a really powerful article this week about stepping back and taking a break from setting goals. I've always been goal driven. I have continous lists of things to do by a certain time and take great joy in ticking them off (though not for a while.) The pride has been fading and now I know why. It's good to have a sense of direction but when it starts controlling your life to the point you start feeling inadequate because you're failing in some way, that's when you need to stop and let go. I don't want to look back on my life and think I spent most of it being stressed. I'm on a mission to eradicate stress from every element of my life. Yes it's romanticised, unrealistic and rose-tinted but surely it's worth a try? Already since reading the article the feeling that I don't need to be making goals every day has lifted numerous weights off my shoulders. That's not to say I'm going to stop making goals, indeed I have ambitions (big ones!) but they don't need to be timetabled and ticked off like an exam. No, I'm on a mission to enjoy life the Charlie way.

 Number 2: Drink peppermint tea

Ok so some folk prefer coffee, or normal tea. For me, the instant way to relax, catch my breath back and take a  few minutes out for myself is to drink a cup of peppermint tea. The ultimate would be fresh mint leaves in my favourite tea cup but I've never had green fingers. I can't even keep a coriander plant from the supermarket alive for a day let along remember to water plants or even think about growing fresh herbs. So I normally drink the bagged stuff. It's ok, brands do vary but I've grown to accept that. Peppermint shouldn't just be reserved for easing your stomach after a heavy meal, (it's digestive properties are undoubtedly a miracle); it deserves to be drunk throughout the day. It clears your tummy and your head and is refreshing and hydrating. I leave my bag to brew for couple of minutes (some people leave them in for the duration but that's too strong for me) and then I leave it to cool for a further five minutes. At approximately seven minutes (an average depending on shape, size and make of cup, but that's another story) it hits the perfect temperature. With every sip, my whole body tingles, it  hits all the right places and makes me feel so utterly calm. I suspect some folk get this from other means (possibly a glass of wine or cigarette) but with peppermint being so pure and wholesome, it's a much better choice and the after effects are so much more long lasting.

Number 3: Invigorate your senses

Creating the right environment for your activity is vital. Whether that's an office or studio that's conducive to work, a bedroom that's warm and cosy to snuggle up in, or a light and airy living room to read a book. Light and temperature are key ingredients, as are general ambience and smell. I love candles but they're only noticable in the evening. I'm not keen on the synthetic whiff of air fresheners and no one has pou porri these day! Luckily then I recently discovered a brilliant 'Anti-Stress' 'Treating Fragrance', by Elixirs de Bach (£7.95).  I'd never heard of a 'Treating Fragrance' before but it's purpose is to help balance your emotions and behaviour and increase harmony and vitality within you and around you. There are two types in the range 'Conflicts' to lighten the mood in environments clouded by aggression (so good to keep by your desk at work if there's colleagues who like to bicker - you could secretly spray it to encourage calmness) and 'Stress' which is the one I have. It's supposedly helps you unwind after intense work and lifts your spirits when you're exhausted. So that's the theory. In practice this is how it works. You spray it three times above your head and it leaves a soothing lingering peaceful energy. It contains essentials from flowers and has a light floral fragrance as if you have fresh flowers in the room. It feels natural rather than the pungency of artificial plug-ins and almost makes you feel like you have the freshness of outdoors inside. This is perfect for me as at the moment and for the next three months I am locked away in a dark flat with bars on the windows beavering away on my next book. It's not the nicest of environments but the work I'm doing is like 'living the dream.' However that doesn't mean it's not stressful - it absolutely is as because there is a pressure that it has to be perfection (I couldn't settle for anything less otherwise there's no point in doing it.) And so I'm spraying this scent throughout the day in my studio/work room to nip stress in the bud before it grabs me and after week in of testing it I can honestly say I am as yet not stressed - hooray!

Number 4: Visit nature

Nothing beats the pleasures of being outdoors, whether it's visiting the beach, a river or park - being in nature for at least a few minutes every day clears your head instantly especially if you can get it to yourself (I know this isn't always possible but it should be aimed for.) I have an affirmation card stuck on my wall that says 'Everyday try and read a poem, listen to an inspiring piece of music, look at a wonderful painting or go into nature.' It's the latter that I aspire to. My favourite environment (as much as I am a born and bred city girl) is to be near water - whether that's the coast (which these days is rare) or a glimpse of the River Thames. water always makes me feel happier. I hope that one day I'll live somewhere where I can see water from my window and not a brick wall.

Number 5: Get a pet

Until February this year I had never experienced the joys of having a pet - I had no idea how life changing it would be. Having life in the form of an animal in your home is an incredible and precious thing. Miss P gave out so much love and affection that just looking at her or holding her took away all problems and stresses in life. It's similar to being comforted by a cat or a dog, animals are so unselfish they don't want much, just food, shelter and love back. Having her put a new dimension of taking a break from work, it forced me to make time for someone else and that in turn is incredible destressing.

Some people like to run for miles, spend a day getting pampered in a spa or go shopping...there's so many ways to de-stress, if you're having any problems wondering how to find the right treatment for you, maybe give any one, or all of these suggestions a try. It works for me.